Everyone Will Hate Me By the Time This Day Is Over

Jason Austinite — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 01:45:16 +0000

I’ve got a little challenge for you. Sit through the entire video below with the volume turned up, and no cheating. Actually listen to the entire song. Then see if you can make it through any ten minutes of the remainder of the day without repeating this song over and over in your head.

Warning: This challenge may cause nausea, dizziness, upset stomach, diarrhea, mild insanity, and rectal chafing.

The Trashmen – “Surfin’ Bird”

Were You Fooled?

Jason Austinite — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 21:57:43 +0000

I was supposed to post something very funny this afternoon. I must apologize to all of you, but it’s not going to happen. After consulting my legal team, I was informed that my disclaimer from yesterday was not legally binding, and I could still be held liable for any and all negative consequences that resulted from posting something too hilarious, so I will leave you instead with this joke:

A young Chinese couple gets married. She’s a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn’t know that.

On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.

“My darring,” he whispers, “I know dis you firss time and you berry flighten. I promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting, juss you want. You juss ask. Whatchu want?” he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually shyly whispers back, “I want to try something I have hear about from odda girls — Numbaa 69.”

More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her….

“You want Garlic Chicken Wif Snow Peas?”

Scott Baio is 46 and Not Associated with This Weblog » Uncategorized

Everyone Will Hate Me By the Time This Day Is Over

Were You Fooled?