Greetings, blog readers. This notice is to inform you that the Department of Blog Protective Services has taken custody of this blog until further notice due to an unfortunate case of neglect by its creator. After allowing this blog to languish and go hungry for several weeks, it has been determined that creator “Jason Austinite” is an unfit parent, and as such, his parental rights have been terminated. This blog is now a ward of the state, and it will enter the state’s foster program until a suitable replacement or an adoptive family comes forward to make this blog its own.
Until then, there will be no more poop jokes, diaper stories, thinly veiled homophobic references, or any other such inappropriate content posted to this site. No longer will this valuable space be abused and neglected. As an officer of the state, I will supervise the growth of this blog into a productive member of Internet society. For my first act as proprietor of this blog, I would like to offer a link to this lovely website on gardening tips. I’m sure it will be much more valuable a piece of knowledge than some strange piece about the president of our great nation watching people defecate by way of secret camera. Disgusting!
So grow, young blog! With the proper supervision and guidance, may you become a valuable and inoffensive member of the Internet community. And worry not, for we will not allow that filthy and unfit Jason Austinite to ever regain rights to your precious soul. The power of the law is on our side.
Sincerely,
Francis Cobblestone, Blog Protective Services
