Jury Duty

       A couple of weeks ago, I received my first jury summons.  Nothing says, “Okay, you’re old now” like a jury summons!  Anyway, it was my first one ever, and it was making me kind of nervous.  Part of me thought, “Wow, maybe this will be exciting and thought provoking, like that movie, [insert name [...]

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Beach Bums Bum Rush Brownsville Beaches, Bring Boards

BROWNSVILLE, TX (AP) - As the residents of Brownsville, Texas brace for the arrival of Category 2 Hurricane Dolly today, a sect of adventure seekers has a different take.  While may residents are have packed up their most prized possessions and are fleeing for their lives, these self-styled “adrenaline junkies” have a different idea:  go to Brownsville, and [...]

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Little Known Movie Review #4

       I know I said in the last post of this series that I would be reviewing The Legend of Billie Jean, but I just don’t have the energy right now to accurately describe the highlight of that film: Yeardley Smith, the young actress who would later portray the voice of Lisa Simpson, getting her [...]

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My Shameful Secret

       I have a confession to make, and it’s something I’ve never shared with anyone.  For the last thirty years, I have lived with this dark secret, and it has been a constant struggle to hide it from everyone.  But I just feel so comfortable with you, blog.  It’s like I’ve known you forever, and [...]

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Were You Fooled?

       I was supposed to post something very funny this afternoon.  I must apologize to all of you, but it’s not going to happen.  After consulting my legal team, I was informed that my disclaimer from yesterday was not legally binding, and I could still be held liable for any and all negative consequences that [...]

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Good News, Everybody!

       Tomorrow afternoon, this little insignificant post will be replaced with the most imaginative, magical, fantastical, hilarious story you have ever read in your lives.  There will be no mermaids, no unicorns, no magic beans, and no rainbows leading to a pot of gold, but still, it will be really fucking incredible.  You have been forewarned.  [...]

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Amazing New Television Show!

       Hey, guys!  I’m so excited right now because I just read this article about an amazing new show on television, and I can’t wait to see it!  Thank god for the media, always keeping abreast of the latest and greatest TV shows for those of us too busy or too stupid (or too busy!) [...]

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